Day 50: HAPPY FRIDAY

I feel better today. Not so aggravated. I've been drinking the shake pretty diligently this week. I did have a weak moment this morning and ate a bagel with butter. Yes, yes I did. And you know what it was delicious but it made me tired.

I definitely have more energy in the morning by drinking the shake. Which I think is to be expected since if you carb load in the morning you're going to crash later.

This afternoon I had chili and a fiber one bar.

Tonight for dinner, I'm not sure yet. Sal is sick so it might be left overs.


I've worked out 3 times this week and I want to go tomorrow too to make it 4. Hopefully I can pull it together and get my butt there.


On another note, I'm looking to expand this blog. I'm going to start to put in some of my favorite recipes/healthy food along with work out sessions that I find burn the most fat.

Let me know if there's anything else you'd be interested in knowing.

DAY 47: I need a buddy

It's day 47 on the GNC total lean shake 25 and I'm looking forward to getting through this bottle and going back to the other one. My weight loss progress has slowed on this one, I don't have as much energy, and I feel bloated. THE OPPOSITE of what I wanted to have happen.

I'm trying to be as dedicated about this as I possibly can. I really want to shed these pounds and get back to the person and figure I used to be.

Life is in such a tailspin all the time. It feels like there's not enough time in the day and being stuck and forced like a prisoner to sit inside a cubicle at a desk in an uncomfortable chair is about all that I can take anymore. I'm not a sitter-I'm a doer. I don't want to be forced into obesity from sitting 9 hrs a day, it's not fair.

Sure the money is good-but at what cost? I took my personal training certification because that's what I decided I wanted to do. I want to be moving, have motivation to keep myself in the best shape possible and motivate others to do the same. Instead, I'm stuck here with my ass glued to an office chair in shit lighting.

I wish I could be given the opportunity to find myself and my passion and not have to work a 8-5 job. I wish I was given the opportunity to be a stay at home mom and start my own business. But I can't because I'm the main care giver, head of household, etc. etc. BULLSHIT.

I'm tired of having to take care of everyone else but no body takes care of me. No one says, hey, I'll do that or lends a helping hand to take the worry and discomfort off my shoulders. This has been my life since I was 19. I need a break. I never had that time of self discovery or ability to grow. Yes, I had my daughter young and I gave up that opportunity but still it burns a hole inside of me everyday.

So what do I do? I put my head down and keep plugging away, promising myself that I'll accomplish goal after goal and that this isn't permanent and won't last forever. That I can accomplish things and have success in my life.

But the hardest thing is the time. Where is the time? Is it after work amongst the chaos of night time routine? Is it in the morning where I have to hurl myself out of bed in the morning? It's certainly not the 9 hours a day I'm stuck in the cubicle. I've heard you have to make time -- common my friends, we all know that isn't as simple as it sounds.

Yeah the rocks in the sand blah blah analogy, I get it, there's always room you didn't know you had. Sure, I could be a dead beat mom and do whatever, sure, I could be an insomniac and not sleep, shit there is 24 hours in a day and if I started taking amphetamines there would be 72.

We all have our bad days, days we want to throw in the towel and call it quits. But it frustrates me because I DO want to succeed.

I guess I need to start making changes besides just my body and decide what the right path in life is for me.

Day 41: Thick like pudding

My 41st day on the GNC  Total Lean system and I've been drinking the 25 for a little bit now. I have to say my experience with the 25 isn't as great is with the regular GNC shake. I feel like my weight loss has slowed down a bit and I feel as if I'm hungrier more often. My exercise has been pretty consistent.

I feel heavier on the 25...like more dense. I feel as if the shake bloats me and I think that has to do with the increase in protein. Most of the time to increase the amount of protein in a supplement they'll increase the whey or the soy. I'll have to check the product's ingredients list to see if there's an increase in whey as that may be the contributor to my problem.

I don't do well on whey products--- they slow me down, bloat me out, and hurt my stomach. I think it's because I have a slight lactose problem, not complete intolerance but enough to realize it's not the most comfortable thing in the world.

I also find that I don't like wheat products all that much either, that those too hurt my stomach, like if I eat too much bread or pasta made from wheat. I do much better on rice based or oat based. I really don't want to be a gluten free - dairy free yuppie but I think my body is forcing me too.

Gosh, take away my peanut butter, my milk, and my bread. You'd think peanut butter jelly sandwiches has a vendetta against me.

But, you have to eat what you recognize is the most beneficial to you. You start to make changes when you realize what kind of results food has on your body as a whole, not just your waist line.

For instance, I like skim milk now because again no stomach pains...less heavy of a milk, less toll on my stomach. I've began to drink it now instead of 1%. Never thought I'd see the day THAT happened. I also eat Almond butter instead of peanut butter...sure it breaks the bank and I do miss it, but I couldn't take the chance of a severe allergic reaction even if it is just canker sores I get now.

As for this 25 stuff, I won't be getting it again next month. I'm going to switch back to the Swiss chocolate. Can't say I didn't try.

Day 37: Thoughts

Are you like me, always thinking about the future but rarely taking the time to feel and live in the "now". I find myself thinking of my life in future tense---- when I have that house I want, that body I want, and ignoring where I am and who I am now. I feel that this puts an enormous amount of pressure on me to perform my best all the time. Not giving myself time to breath, take time for myself, and love who I am right this very moment.

How do we live in the now when we're constructed to plan, plan, plan. I planned for where I am years ago but still unaccepting of it. I want the future so bad that I never even recognize it when it happens, possibly because I've forgotten what it was I wanted at that moment I planned.

I want to be thinner-----I am a woman right? But do I reward myself and be happy for the little achievements along the way or do I see it as unsatisfying because I haven't arrived where I want to be yet? I always say slow and steady wins the race but that doesn't mean I'm not constantly thinking about the finish line.

I want to take one day at a time. Sure, I have my long term goals, but, I also feel that I'm missing out on a lot in my life by constantly thinking about later. Later means I'll be dead, right now means I'm young and alive and I want to enjoy the journey I'm taking right now.

Day 34: STATS on the NEW Shake

Aright, so I drank the new shake yesterday morning and the verdict is...it's less sweet and more thick.

I don't mind it though, the "Rich Chocolate" is exactly that---rich and chocolatey but in a more dark bitter chocolate kind of way. The swiss chocolate is more decadent and sweet.

Hitting the gym tonight after work. Should be a grand ol' time. Then back at it tomorrow morning. No shake for me today as I was out of milk this morning.

Seems to be the trend, we're always running out of stuff left and right. I don't know if it's because my daughter is going through a growth spurt and putting it away or what. Or maybe I'm sleeping eating, like oh yeah the shake is keeping me full, until I go to sleep then my sub-conscious takes over "FEED ME!"

Yeah then Ambients freak sleeping patterns would have nothing on GNC Total Lean!

Going to attempt to take some pictures this weekend so you can see my progress.

Keep tune folks.

DAY 32: NOW ENTERING LEAN 25

Okay folks, I took the plunge. I went and bought a new batch of shake and went for the rich chocolate Total Lean 25. This one has 20 more calories in it BUT it's serving size is bigger, so if you decrease the serving size down to the other one then you get the same amount of calories.

It has more protein and less carbs which I see as a plus.

It's sugar content maybe lower too but I'll have to look. I am going to give it a go tomorrow and see how it works out for me. They didn't have many choices at Rite Aid today as they were restocking the GNC section.

Anyway, thanks to a sale GNC is having and my 20% wellness card discount,  I received a 50% discount on the shake. Originally 41.00, I got it for 22.00.

At least if it tastes god awful or I start racking up the pounds I can hopefully return it, if not it's not a huge loss.

Change is good.

Day 32: Running on Empty

I ran out of shake.

Yep. It's gone.
I came home yesterday for lunch to blend my shake up and had just enough to make for lunch.

I didn't have time to stop again yesterday to pick up more, so I will have to go today.

BUT the shake did last me one month w/ one serving a day, so can't complain about that.

Maybe I'll try a new flavor this month, anyone got any suggestions for a better flavor then swiss?

Day 30: One month completed

It's officially been one month since I started the shake. I couldn't be happier with my progress. Saturday's break day for me and I had an egg and cheese for breakfast, but honestly I didn't enjoy it very much. I wish I had drank my shake instead.

Yesterday I put on a pair of pants that I hadn't worn for a while and it fit me so much better then the last time I put them on. The legs were lose, the seat was lose, etc. I felt comfortable and happy.

Tomorrow will be right back on my game. I remembered yesterday how much I loved being a size 8. I felt confident, sexy, and clothes shopping was great. Having clothes look good on you and fit you better is so worth any food sacrifice. Honestly, nothing is as good as feeling sexy, even cake.

I want to get back to that point, I want to look how I looked when Sal and I met. This is what I want.

I'll get there, after all it's me who's doing the work, the shake is just the tool :-)

I'll post pictures soon, I know you want to see what my progress is. I just take the worst pictures of myself on my phone. I'll have them asap though.

One month down and many more to come... and I'm still lovin' the shake.

Day 28: Discovered a new version of TOTAL LEAN

I love getting coupons that relate to my life. Thanks to being a goldcard member, I get the heads up on new products and sales happening in the GNC world. Most of the stuff I just look at like "wtf are Ketones?" but, I saw on this promotion that they not only are having a sale on the GNC TOTAL LEAN Lean Shake ($23.99 - $9.00 off the regular price)...they also have a new Gnc Total Lean Shake all together:

GNC TOTALLEAN Lean Shake 25...say whaaaat

Okay, so this shake has 25g of protein "to feed lean muscles..." and 8g of fiber. It comes in at 200 cals per serving which is 20 more than the reg. shake --- w/o adding skim milk.

This all sounds great and nifty and it comes in what I'm sure tastes awesome in Chocolate PB.

The bummer part is I have some weird peanut allergy ---- THANKS MOM.

BUT it does come in chocolate and banana (yeah, no banana for me).

I MAY try it possibly but I don't want to mess up any results with what I've got going on right now. Though I do think the extra dose of protein maybe nice but who knows.

If any of you choose to take on the 25 let the rest of us know how it's working for you.


On another note, I'm feeling off my game today. I didn't get the chance to drink my shake this morning as I rushed out the door and I can feel the difference without it. I do think I am coming down with some sort of cold though as I feel like I've been fighting something off for the last day or so. I hope I didn't pick up anything strange from the Hospital I was in the other day visiting my boss who fell of her horse. This is why I hate hospitals.

Hopefully it's nothing and I can go back to normal tomorrow. I was going to go the gym but I'm going to go home and rest and take it on in the morning.